|
Righty Hoe!
I'm bored as always...
This my lil'
friends is where il be writing about my day/mood ....thats if i remember of course lol or have a computer???
I mite write
in it everyday or every few days.... that all depens..
but ya mabe wana check if i writen init next time im in a bad mood...
oh wait change that for when im in a good mood that happens less offent...
|
| i can see you.....muahhaha |
A quote, that in someways reminds me of me, from Emma Gold's bestsaler book - Easy..
"When I'm with someone, I yearn for unpredictability, freedom and new experineces
of single life. When I am single, I yearn to have have someone speacial in my life who will always be on my side, who I can
kiss and cuddle and laugh and banter with, and whom intelligently discuss the meanin of life (A subject never far from my
mind)"
23rd April 2005
16:19
HOLY CRAP!
Okay...Only i could
fuck up my back by putting on my Cons! *rolls eyes*
Muhaha, So Been up2 much lil monsters?
Just been to look
at the new house , sould be moving there soooon can't wait REALLLLLY CANT!!!??!!?!?!
Can't wait till 2mo etha! seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeing
jackoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo booooo cant think of anything to write, oh the pain =/
bex
Xxxxxx
21st April 2005
Heylo Lil Ones?
Been up2much?
Last weekend
was the best,
Me n jacko have been goin out since sunday,
Tuesday was kool, had Jacko,Lauf,Emz,Sez and James all came
over =P
Bex
xxxx
16th April 2005
17:41
Muhaha sitting
on James while typin this =P
with andy between my legs, lol (nothing dirty honest)
andy is
fuckin around with my leg, =P Aimees Bday 2moro,
So We Went to rockey, bla bla bla....
Bex
xxxx
14th April 2005
listening to nirvana
19:11
Just
talking To Mr Jacko About Drugs, lol
my
hand is fucked, been writting toooooooooo much
i feel well cold, bla xxxx
13th April 2005
Updated random ppl alil, hope all is well?
hehe Funny day today, in Pe Kerran
Ran Right Into A wall....muhaha
xxxxx
12th April 2005Hello My Lil Cherry pops Howz You all? I'm Gettin Worse And WorSE at updating
this. hmmm what have i been up too, me and phil broke up awhile back, hence bye bye pics of him lol if anyone is wondering. Erm
I'm Falling my Mock SATs and have my real ones ina round 3 weeks....oh the JOY!!! http://rockwhore2.tripod.com/scrapbookromance/ my bands site. Just Gone back to skl from easter hols, spent alot of it with jackson or sez or both lol went to brighton,spent
alot of time in london. Only 2 more sensons with the councler it seems wooo. should be in the new house with in a month...
but not quite sure... haVnt got in too a skl yet. bla bex xxxxxx
22nd FEB 2005
heloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Long Time no update!
turn 14 yest!!!
xxx
4th dec 2004
00:30
bored, just updated sum picz n random ppl etc....
im tired gona go bed =P
xxx
1st Dec 2004
17:14
Havent updated my site ina while, soz if ne1 carez?
lol i know my updates
are gettin rather crappy too....that would be cos im using my dairy more...
but nehoo.
what have i been up2?
Been
goin dwn guildford which has been quite fun.
humm dede hummm... rather boring life i lead eh?
Ive been up and dwn theses
last few weeks, my moods have been better just when i feel shit i feel .... well thats the prob, i dont know lol.
listenin
to Delays... jeeeeeeeeeeez Greg Gilbert has a voice to die for lol
oh yeh, added a new peom that me and emzy wrote today,
which is under art wrk blabla so check it out. its for English bassed on Lazy man's song by - Po Chu-I
xxxxxx
22nd Nov 2004
Funny day yest.
Went Guildford to go see Imo, but also meet up wid sum sez mates.... would explain
but cant be bothad =) anotha time perhapz lol but they were kl =)
xxx
12th Nov 2004
21:53
COLD!!! GOD DAMMIT!!! Heatin fucked up the other day =(
pissssssssssssed off wana go see
Phil. lol
Missy Wankas Bday 2mo Dear Lord only 2more yrs babe! we gettin OLD!!! lol we gona have to start.....being GROWN
UP = O! Shock Shock Horror Horror!! lol
xxxx
6th Nov 2004
listenin 2 Xfm12:39 Wooooyay
http://xfm.co.uk/Article.asp?b=news&id=50252
booked my Tix!
lol dodooooooo im still ina good mood rather tired tho! Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hummm
dede hummmmmmmm didnt end up meetin wid rich yest cos he didnt wana.. brought bk so many memorys... lol
nehoo
xxxx
4th Nov 2004
18:20
Why Can some ppl be totaly 2faced and enjoy hurtin
ppl?
3rd Nov 2004
listenin 2 brand new
Fuckin skl!
whats wrng wid my hair??? Its not like its pink! Thats
it! im dyin it black if i get ne more bullshit! lol neways just updated sum writting etc...
lala
Can't wait till friday..
dunno why? i just can't.
should be a gd day...well evenin
Mite see rich lol it'l be odd as it'l be a year on friday
since i met him and it'l be the same place to? lol! But yeh me, sez , emzy mabe shiv rae and alfie are goin the common hopeful
getin pissed afta the firewrks...
xxxx
*Just nicked this poem of shivs site!, dunno who wrote it but thought it was funni!*
CHEK
DIS...
Itz
all about GOLD Watches,
Flashing
RICHES,
Getting
digitz, Banging bitches,
Working
out, looking trim,
Sub
whoophers, alloy rimz
No
insurance, no tax
Chillin
out, Pumping trackz
Cutting
corners, sitting back
Looking
like a FUCKIN TWAT
Smoking
weed, acting black,
HOODED
TOPZ, baseball caps
Cropped
hair, attitudes, acting rude,
Hangin
wid your PUSSY crews,
Fucking
up dem NVQ'z
Silver
chainz, mobile phonez,
Getting
pissed, getting stoned,
Starting
RUCKZ, SPREADIN hate,
BANGING
on about your FAITH
Daytime
Giggz, Fake ID'Z,
Shagging
spreez, MTV,
Your
all a bunch of wannabe'z
Pussyholes,
acting tuff, back biting,
Always
fighting, FULL OF SHIT,
Hypocrites,
FUCKIN PRICKZ.
screwin
women, FIX YOR WAYZ,
Turned
OUR QUEENZ ta EASY LAYZ,
How
many sisters HAVE U PLAYED?
GOTTA
PRAY, set tingz rite
Sacrafice,
all UNITE
keep
dat cool, don't be THICK,
hold
it back, control dat DICK.
Use
your mind, use your HEARTS..
HAVE
a laugh BUT CHANGE your PATH...
2nd Nov 2004
17:50
Sez and Shiv got all freaked out cos i was happy
at skl today... i couldnt help it... hehe
xxxx
|
| Shiv, Over The Top Or What!!! |
1st Nov 2004
19:30
listenin 2 sum Cd
Made a fool of myself last nite...drinkin again
This doesnt make sence?
How
could one of my best and worst days of my life happen in one weekend?
xxx
31st Oct 2004
11:01
Listenin 2 - sum cd J gave me
jeez i
really have kinda given up writin on here since i started my dairy again lol...
Mauhahaha*why do i keep writting that!*
erm
neways lol i just updated sum pix and random ppl alil bit
Wanted to go see scott but nope have to go jacks...oh what fun....
bex
xxxx
30th Oct 2004
Hehe had a gr8 day yday ! =) havent been so bloodly happy....wel like ever! i just feel so gd *ahhhh!*
xxx
28th Oct 2004
12:10
listenin 2 - Xfm
YAY FUCKIN YAY!!!!!
Meeting up with phil
2mo =)! Hehe can't wait...
Oct 20th 2004 19:50 tlkin to shiv n james about what we think love is? And so far ive come with... Its sumthing
every1 wants to belive in but... its so easy confussed it can be fake, it can be real but its so easy to say ' i love you'
and not mean it. I know that for sure...
There's Always Two sides Too Every Person You Meet, One You Love And One You Hate
Anyways thats kool shiv, not to worry... *hugs*
Man i need to get out more!!!
I felt out of
control at skl today.. i felt i was gona walk out if i didnt get sent home... i felt i was goin insane... wnt go into all
that now....
bex
xxx
19th oct 2004
16:10
Listenin 2 takin back sunday
Startin them
today! For at lest a yr but the doc thinks i should have them untill i leave skl so it doesnt fuck up my GCSEs..so about 3yrs,
mum started to cry god i hate that i feel so gulity.
I miss talkin to Rich.. i really messd things up there? Why couldnt
i just be normale and not freak out! Oh well i need to cope better and im tryin... dad mite be diabetic...
Cant be
assd to write ne more!
xxx
loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou
hateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyouhateyou
Soz
Got Bored!
14thOct2004!
17:48
listenin 2 taking back sunday - You know how i do
I just went crazy!! lol was ina really good mood, just about to have a bath.
Didnt go skl today, cos i felt
so fuckin shite last nite that i couldnt face goin into today,
Shiv!Emzy!Sez!James Etc... Check out the thing i left
on my forum plz??
Bexy
xxxxxxx
http://angel_sexy_shiv.tripod.com/id9.html
TATU - ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID
omg! i can never forget this tune! u gta hear the story to this......me
n bex has aprox 3 hrs of rock music @ a concert.....SUM*41...she came out singing...."all the things she said all the things
she said running throught my head......" core blimey gurl! u crazy!! wuvz ya!
All the things she said
All the
things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All
the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said.
This is not enough
... (with Echo)
I'm in serious shit, I feel totally like lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being
with you, has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise
http://angel_sexy_shiv.tripod.com/id9.html
13th Oct 2004!
21:30There ya Go Miss Wanka!
Updated it for you!!!
lol
I'm soooooo bored.
I just want to be in somebodys arms...lol how much do i say that???????
How sad are we?
Me and Missssy Wanka got bored...well infact i got bored in french and started to think abt my idea partner.. and lol me and Missy
Wanka did it again at lunch ....typed it up 2?? Lol
Ooooh shiv-Missy wanka- asked me to post this poem she
found on unknown poets!
| My Body Is Yours |
i know you want to hurt me.
i am the one who wants the pain because its from
you.
i know you want to touch me.
use me
break me
fuck me
abuse me
although i know you lie, i believe
although you know i love, you deceive
the pain you cause me, turns me on more.
the more shit you call me, the
more i want to be your whore
the more you slip away, the more i desire
the harsher you are, the more im set on fire
dont leave me, i need you.
i need you to make me feel like shit
i need you to drag me down
i need you to cause
me pain
i just want to love you.
your the only one i have.
the only one who cares.
isnt that right?
no, not at all
you dont care
your never there
you rise, i drop
you laugh, i cry
you live, inside i
die
i want you to touch me
feel my pain and misery
feel me, deeper...harder..
you can feel it cant you?
the
pain that YOU made me feel
my body isnt mine.
my body is yours.
so fuck me all you want, pretty soon i
wont feel
the pleasure, the sensuality
fuck me then kill me
im better off dead, then with you
i was yours
for way to long
kill me or i will kill you.
then my soul will be set free
no more you and me.
burn, mother
fucker, burn
the knife in your heart, farther ill turn
rip out your heart, still bleeding and beating
ill set
your heart on fire, with a warm greeting
|
| |
|
© SaMAnThA, 2004-06-28
I'l post it on the other page to... |
On the 19th i find out if im gona be put on anti derpressants or not!
The skool
has now got me on report for my councler which is fuckin annoyyin!!!!
|
|
12th oct 2004
20:15
listenin 2 - xfm
http://poets.unknowncommunity.com/
What would happen if i said |
|
What would happen if I said what I wanted?
Would you wish me dead or
would be glad
I’m trying to get it sorted With so much left un-said would you prefer silence?
At least you wouldn’t
have to put up with my lack of patience
Do you think that I don’t understand, do you think that I don’t care
It’s just that this silence I can not bare
You believe me to be a stranger some one you don’t know
I’ve
always been there but now all I think is you want me to go
Some one to care about you was once some thing you wanted
Some
one to care for you was some one you hated
Some one to worry about you, you can’t have as this would mean you would
have to worry back
Coz I care about your friendship I will now lack
I don’t know why I still care because I
shouldn’t
But to give up I just couldn’t |
| |
© bob, 2004-07-02
Dare To............ |
Accecpt people for who they are
Beleave in what your heart tells you
Chance it whenever you can
Dare to be different
Expect the unexpected
Forget the past and move to the future
Give your best
Have an outragious personality
Insist that your voice be herd
Just keep going no matter how
hard it gets
Keep hope even if you think there is none left
Live life to the fullest
Move to a higher place of
happiness
Never give up
Overcome your fears
Push yourself to the limit
Quit acting like your the only one
who has it rough; there is always someone who has it worse
Respect life and everything that comes your way
Stand you
ground
Turn over a new side to your personality
Understand no one is the same
Vary your style; change can be good
Wait till it's your turn
X-perince things others can't
Yearn for a new chanlge
Last but not least add
a little Zest to it all |
| |
| © Ali15, 2002-02-09 |
Comments
| Do you except my dare? Written- 11-11-01 | | |
4th
Oct 2004
19:17
listenin 2 brandnew
just had some
wierd but quite funny convo with some random girl!!
Enjoy!
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
o so u r a smakhead ?
i hear
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
erm you what?
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
u smoke dope???
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
yeh ... who the fuck is this?
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
ur best bud
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
lol oh rite ...
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
wot drugs do u do?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
weed thats it
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
dope
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
duz ur mam no?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
nope
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
tell her
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
er why?
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
bcos she shud no. u r a smakhead
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
well im not a 'smakhead'
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
i u r. r u addicted?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
nope
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
u will be soon
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
who do ya get it off?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush
On U And Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
m8s..
Bexster /I've Got A
Massive Crush On U And Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
i drink and smoke weed with mates but im not full on
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
how old r u?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
13
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
u on dope?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
no...not at this very moment
why do you have
such a problem with it?
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
bcaus its naughty. u cud get
arrested
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
right... and do you never do nething 'naughty?'
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
nope im an angel
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
right...
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
r u a scater?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
no..
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
wot r u?
Bexster /I've Got A Massive
Crush On U And Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
nothin!
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
i dont label myself
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
u r a smakhead thats wot i label
u as
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush
On U And Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
HOW THE FUCK AM I SMAKHEAD! BY SMOKIN A LIL WEED NOW AND THEN! IM ACTULLY
A REALLY NICE PERSON... but im not gona bother explanin myself to you as you *this is what i think and "wot i label u as"*
seem to be a very one sided person with no real look at other peoples life and doesnt seem to be givin ppl slitely different
from you a chance!
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
srri
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And
Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
whatever
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
ine ur not exactly a nice person
urself. LOSER fuk off
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
lol
Bexster /I've
Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
well ...you can call me what you wishs becos
you dont know me
Bexster
/I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres No Lmit To What I'll Let You DO!!/ says:
A nd yes call me a loser because id rather be sad,
than a 'good' lil girl who doesnt have more than one way
of thinkin
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
ok lets get this right u r a
hgay lil tosser and likes to wank ppl of because i enjoy the feel of it u think ur big because i supposedly smoke weed which
i dont believe u are a ugly lil freek and i hate u lots u cant take a ujoke and u r a bitch and actually ur just jrelous and
i amn not a gud lil girl do u no me? no exactley so nexct time think before u open ur moyuth u shud fukin lil hore !
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To... says:
hmmm well most of what you said is not true....
well apart from me not knowin you... and the fact
is...
you dont know me ethier... im not a whore (which btw you spelt wrong.. not that i can talk as im a shit speller)
i dont think im big becos i smoke weed... And for your info i dont go round wankin people did i even said i did?.... Your
just makin your self sound like a fool...
katietatie_666@hotmail.com says:
ok
rite u ok do u think u r an expert on spellin cos u r a shit head and u r a wanker and u r a lil biotch
Bexster /I've Got A Massive Crush On U And Theres
No Lmit To... says:
lol
like i said and i quote "not that i can talk as im a shit speller" so.. No i dont think im an Expert... and as for me being
a "shit head"? Erm last time i checkd i wasnt...
and wanker well i cant say im not, i do enjoy the good old masterbasion
you should try it mabe it'd lighten you up? And yeh well what can i say, i can me a bitch....to whome i dont like.
And by what your sayin, all the silly lil 'ur a shit head, you wanka' you kinda
sound like alil boi tryin to sound wel ...hard?
30th sept 2004
16:53
listenin
to - billy talent
*yay*
doin the Duke Of Edinburgh Award thing!!! lol
Hmm havnt writen on here for a few day... not been up2 much.. didnt go skl
yday kinda *ahem* had a hangover... because on tuesday (the day b4) James came round... with some drink and weed and i er...
had to much (about half abottle of vodk,2joints and about 5 or 6 fags!) to quickly (in less than an hour) so of course i was
sick for a few hours lol And yeh i know it was stupid! And yes i know it doesnt sort out whats goin on in my head just thought
anything is worth a try...
like me and Jb were tlking about when we were wlkin home... whatever you do your gona die you
have NO control over it, even if you kill yourself...its not you controling it... you could smoke all yourlife and not get
cancer yet...others do.. If your gona get it...your gona get it you cant change that fact the same with all other illnesses
and well everything that happens in life
neways
gona go now
xxx
25th Sept 2004
20:46
added forum
etc.. Feel Free to write sumthin on it,start a convo abt sumfing, no need to put ur name if u dnt want ppl 2 no who its
fr.
messd wid pix finsh them 2mo or sumthing
Had a really nice day out today.. Saw Stiff for the 1st time in ages! We
got on really well...
Pissed off wid dad he hasnt spoken to mum abt tomoro But I dont give a fuck im goin nxt week or sumfing
woteva they say!
God im so FuCkin Fed Up!!!
Think i mite go and listen to music,
Cos Ive fuckd up my sound card!
oh
yeh mite start getin guitar lessons, have been wanted to for ages.. me n Emzy mite do them togatha..just depens on money i
guess
xx
23rd Sept 2004
21:44
Listenin 2 - sugar Cult - pretty girl
just added
a guest book, Feel free to sign it (its on the home page!)
Thinkin.... Im Ratha confused again...
I get so fed
up... I sit and feel almost like an outsider..Everyone else thinks such small things r imporant They almost take over
their lifes....so many ppl base their life on what otha ppl think? Am i really like that? I dont know??
Mite TRY and set
up a fourm tho i doubt il doit 2 nite....
Bexy
xxxx
ps shiv il put ur pix up 2mo
xxx
20:47
listenin
2 Greenday...
Dad Said yes to me goin up to Norwich wel he kinda did he said he was fine wid it if
we sorted out the times...but he wanted to tlk to mum abt it 1st ....im scared but exited .....lol
Holiday songs kepp comin
on ...wel My Pole dancin songs keep comin on...
Shiv dnt worry Abt Perky N Pooky their just kinda being stupid about it
all
Meetin up wid Stiff,Emz n Andy on Sat I think?
xxx
listenin 2 sum41
17:11Today Felt like itd never end!
Miss Wanka......................................Oh I dont know what i was
gona say =( lol
Joinin the gym wid Sez n Holton, Tho their doin it today cos Ami made me ill so cnt be assed to go out
lol.
Odd day at skl today very Boring day at that tho maths was alrite
 lalala il write mre l8r xx
22nd Sept 2004
21:35
listenin 2 fireflies - count the stars
GOT FUCKIN HEADACH!
Just
got in Shldnt have smoked that ..oh welll lol il live
erm...LOL AMI!!!! U SILLY!!!! 'I was There When u Told Me?" ER DUH!
Course u were?? lol
neways...
Erm doin that Army thing Next fri how fun! =S
Not goin skl this fri goin up london
wid ma...every1 else goin thrope park so.. i cnt be ass to go skl lol
Amis Dancin away!
Hopefuly gona see phil soon
=D
lalala hehe!!!! Tlkin 2 Harris at the mo...WHERE IS EVERY1 ? lol
Erm Miss Wanka Ur Thing aint come up yet?? i wana
no what else u wrote lol ERM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fell dwn the stairs yday lol
ermmm whAT HAppend today??? ERRRRRRM Things happend???Ah wel
Ami pulled a kiwi last nite....lol ;)
nehooo had really
shit nite last nite =(
xxx
21st Sept 2004
17:03
Ur mean Miss Wanka!
"man wasnt it funny 2 c her stressed! and to make
it even mre annoyin for her mr atkinson (aka sir!) is taking the piss outta her...and she so isnt taking it...aww bless dun
worry babes..im gtin d fun outta it..:D lolzz wuv ya!"
17th Sept 2004
19:58 listenin 2 reef - place your hands Bored bored bored Should have gone out tonight Fuckin
Fed Up of Sitin In Doors Doin Jack Shit Becos I'm "to young!" Oh Fuck OFF!!!!!!!!
Oh and shiv i argeeeeeeeeeeeee "ooooooooooooooo BEXY BOOOP....wen you read this just think of out savings of £3000!!! we only have 3 1/2 years
to save......hopefully we'll get that done a sorted and better for ourselves :D."
- http://angel_sexy_shiv.tripod.com/id12.html -
Mum just foned me... sayin she was sorry for being late, She was ment to get in a 5 and its
now nearly 8... i dnt mind at all but she just went ive got you £20 to say sorry, i was like dont be stupid mum i dont mind
you've got to work i dont mind at all...I hate doin that i dont want that money she shouldnt feel bad about workin wel i gues
il put it 2wards buyin her some nice flowers or something?
I wana talk to Richard, havent heard from him ina
while, Matts being well funny with me but i cant expect anything more... i was a total bitch. WHY do i always fuck up good
things?>??????
 
xxx
Monday 13th 2004
listenin 2 maroon 5 - shiver ...
14:00
just
readin shivs logs and hun u can be so silly! Theres no way ur over wight!
nehoo Skool was fucked today i just said i felt
ill and got sent home..shiv n emzy werent there so couldnt be assed to stay plus i need 2 get some homewrk done! Gona help
Rae out later with Alfie.
the only lesson i went to today was history and Sir wants us to write a report about The Beslan
school Seige which is fair enuff i actully want to doit i just got pissed off by how some the other girls were laufin at it?
How can you lauf at that?? And some where goin on about what is it what happend...when they just had Miss N (our headteacher)
goin on abt it....
nehoo im gona shut it
xxx
12th sept 2004,
21:21
listenin 2 shut the fuck up - backyard babies
Just
havin a nice convo with shiv hehe love ya hun thank you for being here for me! its strange to think ive nearly known you for
2/3 yrs now!! Hehe
Me shiv n sez mite be goin 2 see slipknot..if we all can get our money togatha
im screwd aint dun
my hmwk proba n dnt have time 2 mo have to go out wid rae n look afta alfie for a bit
hmmm ah well il just wrk till late
2mo
xxxx
oh btw ive sent it!!!
15:23
listenin 2 - ...sum41 - we're all to blame
well tryin 2 listen to it.
Chris (harris)
I really dont see the point of why you didnt just
tell me you had anotha gf instead of just ingoring me? what you'd think id do go top myself? i dont care its your life lol
you can do what you want with it just would have been nicer for you to tell me rather than Jack lol
anyhoo
went counlin on friday...and the bloodly lady thought i was pregant?...Then went into a whole thing
about "if you have a sexual partner you should tell your mum, of course i'd have to tell her if you were having
a baby i couldn't keep that to myself but i'd talk to you about it 1st" ...I was like... "Erm ...ive never had sex...and
i dont have a bf at the mo...and im not doin nefing sexual with anyone" but i could tell she didnt belive me? Dunno why
tho ..it was the truth!
hum dede hum
Oh yeh! Thank ya for the letter Phil u'll be getin my one
soon enuff =)
Been feelin alil up and down this past week, the 'Docs' are thinkin of putin
me on pills but their ment to make you worse for the 1st week or 2 =s oh well anything is worth a try,
Bex
xxx
9th sept 2004
19:11
listening 2 - incubus - nice to know youWas gona help out at the yr 6 eveing thing 2nite cos its always a lauf but its Mums
bday today... so course i couldnt ah well
i wana try get tix for slipknot, lost prophets or him.... but depens if i can
get ne money i guess and if ne1 wants to go wid me... lol
*listening to slipknot - left behide, one
my fave Songs*
skools goin okay so far, havnt got used to the time table tho... not gona learn nething in french
or spanish as got teachers who cant handle the class
dont like miss drummon or woteva her name, shes skl mentor
... sum counclers are okay but shes the type of lady that puts on 'everthing will be okay voice' that reminds me
i got counclin 2mo..how fun... means il b getin in skl at 10:30 tho we start at 10 neway. Been ina okay mood lately just not
been very close to ne1 and i still get really pissed of easy..wel worse den usal..
nehoo i g2g for a shower
xxx
8th Sept 2004
Listenin 2 - Rhian Benson - say how i feel
(shiv just
sent it me)
20:56
Cheer up Missy!!!!! Dont like
to see you down!! Ur ment to be the Happy one!!! Love you shiv!!!!
Skls goin okay i guess Really confusin i dont no
afew the teachers and some the rooms names have changed... lol along with our skl name...norbury manor bussiness and enterprise college for girls....
cnt be assed to write nething more aprt
frm IRON MY HOME MR ROGGERS <LIPSTICK MAN!> UR MAD!!!
6th sept 2004...
20:32
1st day bk at skl went okay i guess..shit time table this yr and got
some shit teachers to...
very strange....im tlkin 2 David....havnt spoken to him in agggggggggggges.
xxx
5.9.04
20:42
listenin 2 offspring - i want you bad
i hate you
18:30
bk frm hols.,... was fun.... il write abt it when i can be borthed...skl 2mo...man i feel ill...cnt wlk proba
wtf goin on.... ppl gona fink i gone insane wen they see me 2mo wlkin like an idot.
24th Aug 2004
19:26
listening to three days grace - I hate everything about you
Spoke to stiff yday..said shes moving to Cyprus sometime afta 9.11 ...cos its also her nieces bday...
Argh
why are ppl scared of telling me how they really feel Why do they think i'm gona go off and slit my wrists cos they told
me the truth??? For fuck sake i wana know what they really think its hurts more not knwin n them actin like im glass that
could brake ne second if they wishper to loudly? maybe thats why i aint seen ne1 that much ova the hols... or maybe every1
had enuff of me being a moody old cow lol
Days going to slow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
18:15
listenin
2 The Ordinary boys - Talk Talk Talk
dodododo lol Urm Holiday tomoro Can't wait means see the
boys <Zeki,Sami n Jem> on thrus lol gona be gr8 fun lol hopefuly lol...Just hope my fone wrks over there..But if
Not Then HAPPY BDAY!!! ..Chris and Chris
lol Sowi im missing ur Bdays...Have fun getting pissed which im sure ur both be doing lol.
About a week or so
ago when me and A were in Croydon shopping,... some guy came up to us and ended up making Ami put her name (which he
took the piss outa off 'Ami Bone..Bone? Neva heard of a name like that b4...?) down for some make over thingie up london...
lol turns out she won lol n me n her gona go once we get bk frm hols... Nehoo.. I'm in kinda fucked up mood... Fed up of not
being Very close to any1 well at least ne1 near me....lol aprt frm my sista god how sad do i sound??
dododedededodod
Not looking 4ward to skl but i guess it'l give me something to do lol
<Maybe someday - The
Ordinary Boys>
Shiv's Teeth!
hehe she got her brace off the otha day.. lucky bitch!
23rd aug 2004 can't stop listenin 2 Turning Japanese at the mo... ive got a few dif copies by different bands lol  I got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit here staring and there's nothing else
to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I have to kiss you when there's
no one else around
I got your picture, I got your picture
I'd like a million of you over myself
I want a doctor
to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
and turning
in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I
think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning
Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I got your picture, I got your picture
I'd like a
million of you over myself
I want a doctor to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got
me turning up and turning down
and turning in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I
really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm
turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
No sex,
no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone
avoids me like a Psyclone Ranger
Everyone
That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really
think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning
Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so... 11:55 listening 2 coldplay - clocks Argh I'm fed up!
Why when guys go on
and on about sex its 'kool' but when a girl does shes a slut?
Most girls i know are a hell of alot more horny then the
guys lol  Anyhoo i better start packing soon...mum keeps moaning cos i havent started il do it once i get bk
frm getin my brace done i guess... 11:36 listenin 2 coldplay - yellow
God Save Me
From The Boredom... I wonder if holtons up yet?? I culd be mean and bang on the wall?? hmmm  lol11:04 listenin 2 - Billy Talent Woke up crying today...=S these dreams are grtin so fucked
up =| YuM Kenco Cappio iced cappuccino its actully
quite nice lol kinda sickly tho... lol urm... gona get my brace fixed 2day ....
22nd Aug 2004,
21:22
listenin 2 - Greenday - American idoit and also the rain....
Just
went down stairs cos i heard ppl tlking turns out, we have Frank round, hes mums friend she met when she was working at Chris'
he did something or other in the olympics afew years back...think it was hugh jump not to sure tho neways him mum and
ami are just watching and talkin about rhe olympics. I would have sat down stairs with them but the light hurt my eyes and
head... so i came back up here instead........
Im so fucking fed up....can't make up my mind....Id give anything just to
be laying with any1 and feelin happy right now...
whys this year going so slow???
I FEEL
SO FUCKING NUMB
21:12
listening to brand new - Play crack in the
sky
Got a headach again, they seem to be getting worse again, more and more offent freaking me out a little because my
body seems to be fucking up quite abit latly... mabe its just a phase...
Keep having werid dreams that keep waking me up...
like the other night i had one and it ended up with me going out with my m8s dads...i know it doesnt sound so bad but if i
was to write out whole dream you'd see...
anyhoo....
16:59
listening to radio phil lol
just
finshed reading 'Dear Nobody' good book ... not something i'd usaly read though...lol didnt take long to read only afew hours.
Im
fed up of people going on about stupid things saying the same things over and over again. This summer was ment to be the best
ever.. yet it's been the worst i ever had. Had no money, noone to go out with ..wel most the time, nehoo..things just seem
to be moving slowly... well life does...mums still being over protective cos the letta god i feel traped ...x
21st Aug 200421:41
listenin 2 bowling 4 soup - Punk Rock 101Wow, Been doin this for ova 4months now... Neva thought it'd last this long lol.
Holiday in FOUR
days... Can't wait... Gona miss ppl... Well sum ppl at least lol.
Had hair cut today *Thnks God* needed it.. aint
had it done since Feb lol n got skl stuff..what fun.
Oh yeah heard Phil play on mic 2day so that was kl hehe... lol
Shiv!! You...You...BUNNY?....
19th Aug 2004
20:56
Been up in Ham (richmond) past few days, stayin at sharrons
been quite fun... saw paul (holi and harrys dad) aint seen him in yrs! lkd old... really old... apperntly holi hadnt seen
him in 8months...guessinm she hadnt wanted to...
Nicked Natural Born Killers (Director's Cut) Off haz its gd..its Very
good lol made shitface watch it.. fink she hated it lol i new she would hehe ah well
Msn keeps fuckin up =( so does my
hotmail....
17th Aug 2004
lisrenin 2 - avirl - too much to ask
15:12
I was sitin around tlkin
2 the oldies.. and we kinda of came up with by the time i want to move out and rent a flat hopefuly with one or two flats
mates..I'd be in between 17-19... as ive been told lol i have to go uni and so far i actuly want to go.... we kinda of work
out that
between two of us we'd be payin at the Very least £486per person in rent and bills a month altho not
includin travel and hopefuly il be able to drive by then...tho a yr id be payin £2000 ar yr in Road tax,Insurace and gas
nehoo
xxx
09:43listenin 2 - billy Talent - Nothing to Lose
 Need more friends with wings
All the angels I know put concrete in my veins
I’d always
walk home alone
So I became lifeless just like my telephone
*There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows
your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change*
Never played truth or dare
I’d
have to check my mirror to see if I’m still here
My parents had no clue
That I ate all my lunches alone in the
bathroom
*There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But
the days don’t seem to change*
~There’s nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There’s nothing to gain
And
I can’t fight the pain~
Teacher said it’s just a phase
When I grow up my children will probably do the same
Kids
just love to tease
Who knew it put me under ground at seventeen Felt really low last nite....ended up cryin myself to sleep? How stupid does that sound??? Feeling
rather lonely ...wish i had sum money... at least i could go out.. i mean no1 wuld need to no where i am dad,mum and ami are
all out the house b4 10 ... and dnt get in til abt 8... wel ami sumtym gets in at 4.. oh i dnt no what im tlkin abt...
Oldies
are comin ova to day... at least i'l have sum sort of company...
Now listenin 2 - Billy Talent
-The Ex
DONT WANT TO GO BK TO NMHS this yr...( i 4got the new name... )
BlaBlaBla.........This
been the worst summa so far... cnt wait till i go away.. only drawbk is i go bk to skl the day afta i get bk ....
xx
15th Aug 2004
16:25
listenin 2 - loveson - bitch Alert
Party
was ite last Night good to see Cat Aint seen her since my bday... Got good once we got bozze tho i felt funny as had a headach
alday which i still have so that sux
Nanny and Grandad Bone left alil while ago good seein them
mite post apic of them up ina mo, Grandad looked well i guess...dont think hes feelin a 100% tho..still havin sum probs with
his heart and legs etc... same as Grandad gaywood i guess tho he hides it.. nanny seemd fine..she went out bolin last
nite with ppl from work...wish grandma was like that... instead of spendin money that i dont think they have
on her house n getin grandad 2 do things... Oh i dont no..
(put a few new pics on yday i keep messin
wid my pics so they gona keep changin)
Not looking 4ward to goin bk to skool, lotsa changes
this yr new head of yr ( Miss Moran ) Which means More ppl need 2 know my biz a treat me like a freak like god knows what
her name is but one the PE teachers did last yr...ah Well ... I really dont want to go back to Norbury This year i was so
looking forward to moving so.. i could kinda start new and not be known or at least i think every1 fought im weird...ah wel
fuck them they all just want to be the same a fit in ...ppl only can make ur life hell if u let them
Im just gona work
hard and get thru this year the best i can .. get thru my SATs ...den sort out my GCSEs.... The Only thing gona piss me off
is the not geting invold with the skl play which isnt a musical so it wuld have been gr8! As i cnt sing..so gona ask
Mr A if i can do what i did last yr ..tho i doubt it.. cos as i did it last yr mite be a bit unfair on every1 else...
ah well always worth a try eh?
nehoo
cnt be assed 2 wrtie nemore
cya z x
friday the 13th .........augest 2004
23:15
listenin
to marlyin manson - Coma White ..well half watchin the Video to...
28G!!
28 FUCKIN G! ....It Ways thats small but also HUGE? lol Well atleast i now have a bra n binkin that fits... for the time being...
lol
Didnt go see Hypo today.. Cos they were all confused about the times
n shit plus they it werent their gig so.. i guess il just watch them on dan and dusty (itv1 at 00:05) well hopefully... millsy
or sum1 said to dad we can go to the next 1 we want for free n the party afta to.. lol altho dey aint really the kinda
band id go for i fink dey quite kl
Hehe got pic of Phil on my fone now :) thank ya n
it isnt a bad one btw ...its quite gd.
Nehoo
im off to ShitFaces mums ahem *50th* tomoro hehe Mary You DONT look a day past 45 dont worrie lol
now listenin/watching marilyn manson - I Don't Like The Drugs
11.08.04
23:37
listenin 2 -River below -billy talent
Bla BLa BLA!
Dunno what to say...
Disided i gota try wrk hard at skl wen i go bk... sort myself out.. i know when i need to i can cut classes etc... but im
goin to have to try my best...Get my mind of things dat probbly are all just in my head neway.. i gota try n stop pushin ppl
away... i have ppl 2 live for i no that...nehooo bullshitin now
l8rz x
now listenin 2 - blissfully
Sedated - hypo psycho
4th Aug 2004 9:47 listenin 2 - Xfm ( http://www.xfm.co.uk ) breakfast show ( http://www.xfm.co.uk/sectional.asp?b=onair&id=622 ) humm dede hummm fought i mite write sumfing in here as i havent for alil while but cant
think what to say now....
Oh YeH ! Amis HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol she said i fuckd up here room she
she liked started paintin ASAP!! lol Goin out for the meal tonight Very confused dunno whats happenin....lol
xxxx
Argh... do i still look like dat? Am i really that ugly? ..Do i really look that much like my dad???
Monday 26th july 2004
17:09
Bored!!!
I found some really old pics last night wel not really
old and thats the problem they were only 2yrs ago... (guys if u readin u'l get bored itz just me moanin)
And i look/ed
so bad compared to my mum and my sista it just makes me hope i stil dont look so bad .... all the pics on the disk (theres
ova 200?) whateva ones im in i stand out as lookin the worst...Made me feel really self concius cos the fact is i still lk
like dat mabe yeh ok ive smarten up alil but...it made me think im never gona be great lookin so im not gona try cova myself
wid loads n loads of make up in the hope il lk beta wats tge point?
(not dat i use dat much make up neways)
But
im gona wrk on keepin my body gd...start wrkin out alil everyday goin swimmin once a wk u no the stupid lil things....wil
hopefuly build up my confdece alil i no i probbly sound dumb but il post a few pics up in amo n u'l c how bad i look =|
(
found sum vids of me and laura B and me n shit face..)
oh yeh ive been messin round wid my site 2day so things r alil dif
(phil ..youngie ur pics r unda random ppl)
xxbxxx
Finshd readin the wasp factory thnx itz
was gd
23rd July 2004
19:37
listenin 2 - brand new - Seventy times Seven
mum
looked me in the eyes and lied to me 2 day... i can't belive that ....
Oh dad said he'd go see slipknot wid me and he'd
take me 2 go get my belly done next week!!!!
oh and u 2, u shld have askd.. u can have it all now just give me bk my Money...
(So
is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish
I've seen
more guts on eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And
you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield
Is that
what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you
severed
when you say "best friends" means friends forever)
22nd July 2004
18:24
hehe check out Wako (added sum artwrk)
oh n mite add sum stories up 2mo....
oh
n look at my home page got a few pics on there
xxxxxxx
16:21
Wooooohey!!! Last Day
of Skl!!
(Summa Hols =D!!!)
Maybe its was my last day At NMHS .. soon 2 change its name 2 sumfing which i 4got.. lol
il find out....
hehe had a gd end of the day... thnx ;) ...
20th July 20000004
11:21
listenin 2 pardon me - incubus
got
sent home frm skl massive headach.. just sittin listenin 2 music n tlkin 2 phil...had bad day yday ended with me layin in
the bath cryin my eyes out.. fun...
hehe so the meal ethier 28th or 2nd?
Mite be meetin up Wid james n Andy l8r?
fuck :| in an hour!! shit !!!! i 4got lol
Pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've
had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon
me, Pardon me...Don't ever be the same...
19th July 2004
21:33
....... bloodly hell i need 2 chill....
20:23
listenin
2 - incubus - i miss you
I erm guess i acttuly dont know what im feeling right now?
I er... just wana lock myself away
and cry... how sad does that sound?
(listenin 2 -AL-My happy endin)
I want to be with somebody right now but i feel
im alone... i keep pushin ppl away... i keep getin urges to go get a blade or whatever and start cutting myself again... but
i can't as ppl now check me??? When i cut myself it was anything big or noticable it was just sumfing to take my mind off
things...
I've learnt i have ppl to live for but itz stil hard bcos when i get so low it doesnt acttuly matter...
(listenin
2 -AL - forgotten)
I havent been able to think probba since i started the counclin i mean b4 i had it at least i new what
i wanted... and that was to die now im not so sure ... n have no idea what i want in life...
18th July u know the rest....
16:02...
waits for Sez to come ova...
*yay got the pics workin
=D*
21:33
listenin 2 - sugarcult - hate every beautiful day
Man i must be bored(the whole pic thing...)...
ARGH Just want the summa hols 2 start... wana go out!!...... wana meet up wid ppl... wana go up london =P!
17th
July 2004
13:20
Wooohey got my free txts 2day.. they wont last me long lol..
Thats if my fones works and lets me send any...??
hmmm sowi chris =( we'l try n meet up druin the week
instead yeh???
hehe im listening 2 incubus - pardon me ... phil u know that song just gona remind
me of u everytime i hear it.... not cos i fink u gona burst into flames or anything lol...
oh and matt
27th? Still not totaly sure about it .. but mabe =P ..
mums confusin turns out we MITE
go 2 cyprus this yr (i doubt it tho) hope we do.. miss them lot ...
neways il write sumfing l8r gota go have a bath
oh
yeh n sez i may come 2 moro dunno...
xx
16th july 2004
16:28
listenin 2 - INME - lava twlight
Raes comin
round soon wid lil alfie =D hehe... Not totaly sure whats goin on this weekend...
oh yeah got my report back today wasnt
2bad... hehe
hehe there we go phils bands website =P
http://www.freewebs.com/abstractmusicvenue/
12:11
listening
2 - Xfm ( http://www.xfm.co.uk )
Hehe louis... i nickd some things off ur site... http://wendymendez.blogspot.com
not that you'd ever no... as u probbly neva come on my site hehe!!
Be very proud to be British Because...
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in
Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do
banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands
of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do
we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v
battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58
Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since
1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years
believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last
year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette
in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer
with their teeth.
8 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
And
finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
15th July 2004
20:27
listenin 2 - stil Avril =S bloodly hel must change
it ...ah bitch alert - Gas
wow why r girls so 2faced neways lol
hum dede hum..... oooooooooo
sum of her new music... its acttuly ok ...=S!! Her old music reminds of last Nov....
oh yeh shiv
the songs called my happy ending il send it 2 u l8r huni bun!
listenin 2 - avril lavigne
- He wasn't
9:41
er..... hum dede hum....
xxx
14th july 2004
21:33
listenin 2 - teenage kicks - the understones
erm....hum dede humm finsh
skl at 2 2mo... :s dnt have skl on fri only go into 2 get my report.. which is ok..even tho i aint been there..(i seen sum
of it) got my rewards afta noon on monday..n othas yrs got it on tues so i finsh...at 12:45? n then go in2 skl 4 a bit on
wesday! my last ever day at that skl.. i fink:?????????????????????????????? scary...... =S Argh man i wish u ppl could c
d view!!!
neways i beta shut it... xxx
19:00
listenin 2 - nuffin ...
Had
a really fuckd up night last night....
felt low...the lowest since the 21st June ....just wanted a hug....
anyways....sitting
in RS today, itz scary how much some girls gota grow up b4 something happens to them, ppl gota be more open minded gota see
otha ppl points of views! I know i been REALLY moody lately but everything seems to piss me off ...ppl my age just annoy me,
er ok i know ppl thinkin wtf is she goin on abt she aint nothing gr8 but itz just hard to explain, ppl seem so self oobsest
but hey they probbly say that about me. on that note think im losin the ppl closest
2me bcos of the way im actin! had to slp in d comptuer room/old bedroom last night couldnt slp just starin at the view...the
one thing il miss abt this hse..the view...
made steph cry today... in FT... she was
bitchin abt sez n lunch n i had a go at her 4 it...
she came bk 2 my hse n me her n sez tlkd thru sum things... hasnt made
me feel ne betta tho... ARGH ...
things feel outa control....
5th July 2004?
11:11
Fucking hell itz scary how much u grow up in
a few months i was reading one my old dairys (which i cant post on here cos it'd confuse ppl..) and sum the old lettas me
n jb have writen n drawins we had done...(i wana find that video me n u made jb wid the whols truths on it =S)
still gota
ask mum abt getin my belly done.. i dnt c how she can say no.... i mean she let ami get it done wen she was 14.. so it'd be
beta if i get it done in the summa hols so i can take it out wen i go bk 2skool instead of keepin it in as i dnt think ur
aloud at skool ......?
ah wel... havent heard nefing abt Gma hope she k?(lol yes i no, i no im bitch abt her
but i wuldnt change her for the world..)
4th July 2004
21:38
ritey ho was
only like 23 mins ago that i last writ in here but oh wel
just lookin at pics of Zeki(who wow must be 17 now?),Sami(sami
who must be 15?) and Jem(whos abt 8?)... god how sad am i? i really miss them im rly pissed off they didnt cum c
me n ami wen they were in england... only cos we werent goin to the bar this yr... Zek said it was their last yr this
yr :S hope not.. cos if we go next yr where will ami wrk? lol nah really tho... we wont have ne fun.. i mean we went clubbing
last yr (not that i can dance . but i was pissed so it didnt matta)
ah wel....=S il post
sum pics 2mo of the holiday last yr..
lol i can hear all the ppl who just watchd the footie frm here(they must b up the
pub lol) xxx
21:15
listening 2 - i dunno wot it called but it goes like ...."say goodnight
say good bye i fink u and im high .. i no sumday u'l be doin the same"
Had an alright day
today,
spent it mostly wid jb n chris (as always...)
they wrote me lettas to put in my scrap book thing....
going
bk 2 skool on...tuesday?? I think..
AH shit gota go cancler lady 2mo what fun =S...
fuck! beta remind mum... as shes
got that dude comin round abt the house =S DAMIT!
This aint funny no more i cnt go nromale unda wear shops for my bras
no mre bcos nowhere does 30/32 E plus wen i found a shop that did afew... they were 2 small so i must be like 30/32 EE or
F NOT FUCKIN FUNNY! thats HUGE!!!!
i dont wana be GG like my sista :S
grandmas goin into hosp 2mo =S i may bitch
abt her but still she is family .....
xxxx
3rd July 2004
13:40
goin shopping again in a miny moe need to go to time bomb =P
listening to - Sic Transit Gloria....Glory fades - brand new...
That
song always makes me think about having sex for the 1st time ( and yes i no itz abt havin sex 4 the 1st time)
some1
asked me the otha day, what would you like your 1st time to be like,who with/when/where?
erm..
i dunno, with some1 i cared/luv enuff to have sex with mabe even some1 i was IN love with...when i was ready...
where?
lol erm probly in a bed surounded by candle light...
i think i'd need to be alil bit pissed(not outa my head) just
so i'd have the nerv...
also got asked my wildest sexual dream.. or 1 i'd wana try the most?
lol erm eathier up
a wall.. or tied/pinnd to a bed?? ;)
neways beta b off
xxx
2nd July 2004
21:44
listenin 2 - marliyn manson - (s)aint
had ratha odd day today,
stupid family cancling this morning... 4 sum reason they wanted mum AND dad there
and they didnt rly say much at all it was only to see if i need pills but mum dnt want me 2 go on them.. yet at least...
then
off to work with mum up london (wel green park) to the fox club which shes like the manger of now...
helped scott in the
kitchens 4 abit... cleanin up n shit.. helpd kristen with sum stuff boring really but then he went 'do u wana see london?'
i was like 'what the fuck?' and he took me onto the roof (this place if like a victoren house so itz fuckin high) lol which
was hard as i was wearin high boots.. n a skirt.. tryin 2 clumb the ladders wid holes in lol and it started to rain.. RLY
hard lol so i was soooo wet (not in that way u prevs... !)
afta all that me n mum went shopin 4 abit... got sum black n
pink vans etc... lol and mum left her bags on the bus ...carzy lady =P!
made me lauf why is it sum women her so stupid
wen ther obvsly at least a size 12/14 their tryin 2 fit in a size 8?? comin out the changin rooms to look in the mirrors goin
'why wont it do up??? it cnt b 2 small!!'
neways enuff of my shit...
im itey today goin bk to skool on tuesday or sumfing???
mite
be goin to my grandmas this weekend how fun
xxxxxxx
1st july 2004
11:30
listening 2 - blood brothers
iron maiden
I'm gonna talk to dad
tonight.... and ask him whats going...once grandma n grandad have gone
Omg lol i didnt say about our convo the otha day .. once everyone had gone home..
we're getting pissed 2gatha
and had a 3hour long convo.. just about life... and he said at least once month we need 2 sit down and had abeer togatha...
altho he said i shld rly sit dwn and have aglass of wine wiv mum bcos he finks that she feels alil left out.. n feels she
has to be the one to always tell me off etc... but he went fuck every1 else while ur young u need 2 ave agd time n im
happy for u to go out but u need 2 wel in skool n try n not to stress ur motha out..and brake his heart. Im not gona
say wot else we tlked abt cos that is kinda stu ff i wana keep to myelf....
man im bored!!!!!!
(i wana sort the whole london thing out jb??! U know the meal?
we need 2 chose whos comin ?)
xxxxxx
lol oooo
clocks remix - Moped, just came on lol matt u sent me that right??? lol
30th June 2004
20:30
listening 2 - shaggy - she gota pee (shivs song! lol)
lol
now fuck her gently - tenacious D....
http://www.meassociation.org.uk/fgeninfo.htm ??? great just great! That on top of the whole clnic drepression..
how fun...
I'm confused i dont know if dads
messing with me... or i really have to go stay with grandma next week bcos im not aloud to be left on my own =|
I'm
getting bored not being able to out in the day but im way to tired to go out.. every1 thinks im just being lazy maby the whole
M.E. explains it??? =S
29th June 2004
listening to let the bodies hit the
floor - drownin pool//
15:12
Heyo..
i know i aint writen or updated the site in a
while ... but oh wel..
lol i made up 4 it didnt i?
ive made a few changes..(look thru the site and u'l hopefuly notice
them)
God im bored!
not goin 2 skool at the mo..
i'm tired so i mite go sleep 4 abit lol
il write sumfing beta
l8rz x
p.s shiv we saw sum41.. NOT sum42... =|
22nd June 2004
10:18
listening to - POD - alive!
i can't blive it...
i rly can't
i went thru with it and it payed off...
i wrote mum a letta left
it for her..
she and dad came to my skool tlked with a few of teachers...
im getin a mentore... which means if i feel
rly low in a lesson or think i cant cope i just have to show a note to my teacher and i can go to find her...
and if i
want.. i can ethier just go to skool in the mornings or afta noon...
this is gonna help a lot i know it is.. i gota go
to the Docs soon... =S
dad told me in runs in the family..
his gr8 granddad killedself..his grandads brv killed
himself, my grandad was/is a manic drepressant.. n wel dads just dad... =|
so... u no..
im glad i asked for help...
hopefuly it may pay off...
I know this may not make sence to alot of u but who cares!
Oh and ami might be coming
home soon *yay*
i feel mean tho bcos i know she wanted to go travling... but mum n dad have asked her to come home
Ms
evans was rly nice to me 2day..
i cnt blive it.. they'v offerd so much help..
dad went to me ..do u want to
move out?
i was like where to?
he said to grandmas...we'd come too
but i dnt wana up root every1... i dnt wana
leave my m8s.. i no im gona but i dnt wana do it right away
xxx
20th June 2004
20:43
unlce pauls and i gues my new anuty mo's wedding went alright
yday...
felt kinda weird and loney tho... just wanted to be in the arms of sum1 who i cared for...
but hey i always
feel like that...
why are ppl feeling they cant trust me no more?
i kinda feeling alone... i need conact with ppl so
i no they care sounds dumb i no but oh well...
chose my music 4 my funeral ...=S gr8 fun...
l8rz xx
wel l8rz x
oh and im listenin 2 brand new.. dunno wot song..
17th June 2004
10:13
bored!!!!
waiting
for sumone to come online...
listening 2 tase - icp itz kinda shit gota change it in amo....
got one intanse headach
today... i culdnt c outa on eye =| not good...
im w8ing for sum nin videos to down load they takin LONG!! lol
hehe
gona write sum new stuff up in wako l8r so check it out...
xxxx
15th june 2004
14:17
listening 2 ... no leaf clover - Metallica
words dont mean a thing
to me at the moement...
i just feel every thing i say is a lie? (im gona reget saying that i know..)
This is gona drive
me mad, i cant stop thinking about killing myself, or just of dyin i dont even wana kill myself ...do i? =S But these images
are just to real ARGH
xxxx
14th June 2004
Lunch time... and im siting in IT wid jb!!!
how fun... we got french next =D woah we neva do ANY work in it =P
And niw Jb wuld like 2 say a wrd
HEYYYYYY lol
im bored n hot!!! =| 2day, im2 tired 2 b specia!! LOL im off now coz i cnt fink of nuffin else 2
write =p
Hum dede hum shes now watching everything i write..... hehe lol
Matthew Seman
Brock!!
U've confused the hell outta me...U do no i kinda just dont blive wotcha ya saying...
itz hard enuff for me
to blive every1 else so im just asking if u just gona mess wid my head then dont bortha....
im gonna ring u l8r =|!!!!
=S me?? on the fone?? LOL
..
hehe im now listening to mest - jadded,
but it sounds crap on theses
stupid gay skool headfones...
Silly Q
but i feel like i have something missing in my
life... =S
i feel theres nothing much more to live for.. cos im only a lil part of ppls lives... every1 wuld get ova my
death in time.. =S
but i just wana see lil alfie grow up... i 1st saw him at 3weeks he may not be related to me by blood
but .. he means alot 2 me.. hes now 10 months old i cnt w8 2 see him grow up
13th june 2004
20:59
papa roach - dead cell
hhmmm im in a good mood
cnt
w8 til next week get 2 harriet aint seen her in long im sure we'l ave fun at the weddin ....
hehe i cnt w8 til the 26th
ethier mettin up wid chris n matt =P
i feel like im stoned n pissed...
11:33
ARgh
ok im now in afukd
mood =S
im dunno wot to fink??
my house fone now totaly fucked
listenin 2 funeral for a friend - Red is the new black
Can't pretend that you're nothing special
You've got to look at all of your options
You
can't decide what to go for
When it's all about trust (it's all about trust)
You see your self on the TV
You read
your magazines
You can't explain how it's come to be this
Stop and think.
When it's all about trust (it's all about
trust)
Right i need to go 4 sure this time ..
xxx
listening 2 - funeral
for a friend - escape artists never dies
11:09
Man im bored
im so fukin confused!!
Matthew
Seman Brock(did i get that right???)
u've confused me dammit!!!
lol ur pic wnt come up on ur site n itz pissin me off
cos i wana c wot u look like now???
hehe *yay* cing chris soon =D
bloodly stupid church thing dnt wana go...
gona
try get tickets 4 foo fighters so me rae can go =P
ARGH my webcam just wnt wrk =(
i cnt think proba at the
mo =S i have 2 put a nice smily face wen i rly wana get a knfie n fukin attcks ppl
i had sum fukin strange image the otha
day..
that i took an ovadose not enuff 2 kill me ...just like acry 4 hell i mean ive dun it b4... but no1 rly tk much notice
....
ive stop cutin myself =D and not planin to doit again...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
beta go xxxx
12th june 2004
22:34
had shiv, rosie, chris and james round for
abit 2day..
Rae came ova wid her lil 10month old baby ..
i h8 babies but i mean wow!!! Hes the only lil kid i like...
Rae is so kewl cnt w8 2 go out wid her =D
Dad brougt a bong home 2day .... hehe
....
10th June 2004
8:45
'im betta off dead, im betta off dead im betta off dead....wouldnt u say
...wouldnt u say...' radiohead..
CNT BE ASSED NO MRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
listening
to radiohead (as my dad puts it music to slit ur wirsts to..)
00:31
Yday me and stiff were talking
about wedding (becos so many are coming up)
mean i dont see the point of getting married, im not relgious and whats the
point of spending so much money on a ring n sayin a few words, If ppl really love each other whats the point of wasting
all that money.....
but i guess i shouldn't bad mouth it...bocs yeh i say i dont wana get married but.... i neva no....
hmmm
but a think it'd be funky to get married in the dark... with candles and rain...strange eh? And dif wuldnt wear white lol
Oh
yeh a we wer also tlking about killing our selfs.....like how we'd do it etc...
I reackon the les painful way would be
an overdose yet it doesnt always wrk and hangin urself wel...ouch i mean breaks ur neck.....
And wel sliting ur wrists.....
oh god... wel binng pissed wuld do the job id take sleepin pills 1st and run a bath a hlf way ful... n yeh....
I hope
i not falling bk into the old me where i felt like i was falin into a deep black hole.... and there was no way out,....
9th june 20004
20:45...
listenin 2 ....Velevet Revolver - slither
Chris
Holton!! lol i need new head fones now :'( lol
hmmm 26th looks like a busy day for me eh? so... let me get this right?
I'm going up Tun Wels to go see chris ...then off back in london to go meet up wid matt... so confusing! lol ...
jb?? do
u know if i can stay round ur house that nite??....
daddy stoned...gr8...
sowi if i freaked u out about the whole cuting
n tryin 2 kill my self thing chris.....
erm i did write alot but i closed the page so... shame on me...
oooh
grandmas here n drivin me mad =(
xxxx
7th june 2004,
14:13
Wow just checkd out my nickyr41 addy... n i had an
emaill frm matt brock...thought i'd never hear frm him again....lol which made me look thru my mail and i found this:
makeoutwithable is the most kickassish word in the historical bits o da world and
if u trieded 2 steel it then ud b fuckded jus kiks the ass outa the worldy place.we livses
in!...
that wont make sence to ne1.. it was in acovo me and him had agggges ago.....
12:24
strange im listening to Darren Hayes.- i can't get enough of you. hes quite good (did i just say that??) hmmm
well i guess im going threw aphase of music i can chill to as wel as my usal.....
Well I know that I have only ever held your hand
But just one touch is more than enough to understand
There's
a master plan
And although I know I don't believe in destiny
Maybe it found me
Now my world is filled with so many
things
But nothing compares to the touch of your skin
There's a symphony
And a melody that plays whenever you're
around
I think I've been found
I can see the sun
And I can
feel the rain
I can hear the wind call your name
I can feel your love
But there's one thing I can't do
I can't
ever get enough of you
ARGH!! hmwk sucks
this is taking way to long im not gona finsh it =S
i was thinking about this last night...
manily bcos wel
me and chris(holton) were talking about it...
But it's gona be so hard for me when i move, yeh ok i hate croydon like my
uncle said itz a shit hole!..wont go into what else he said lol but yeah anyways im gona miss everyone so much, maybe thats
why i'm beinng off with everyone bcos ... i'm gonna miss you lot so much!
I wana hang with everyone as much as i can but
then...i dont bcos it'l make it worse when i leave.. we aint sold our house but i want and need to start anew skool next year...so
i mite go and stay with my grandma ..fun...
I wana know what people think of me?
and chris yeh i think your right...
i care about other peoples feelings maybe a bit to much but its the way i am.. i never think im better than anyone.. the ONLY
time i would ever say i was when you see these people who don't care about anyone else apart from them selfs and they think
their gods gift....
some people have said they think that of me?They say im come across like that. Which hurt... hurt
alot. As many of you know i don't think im anything special fair enough i'm slim, and big chested(for my age) but i would
change all of that to know for sure people like me for me.. and not my looks...
It'l be hard at my new skool if i go to
a mix skool cos i get on with oldder people sounds odd i know but it's true and wel im just worried that the girls in my year
wil hate me bcos of wel my tits and thats the only thing the guys are gona go for specialy if i try to get older mates....and
DONT want to go to another girls skool god there WAY to bitchy i hate it......
i beta try and get on with my
hmwk
l8rz xxxxx
5th june 2004
11:55
listenin to: spineshank - new disease
My
god richard!
I've never thought you were a loser!
Why do people think i think im better than them bcos i dont think
that and i know i'm not!
When i was going out with you there was nothing going on with Matt or Chris! I'm sorry i hurt
you but really im a waste of space i end up fucking with peoples heads as wel as my own! And yeah your right i'm not going
to call bcos i can't stand talkin on phones it just doesnt work!
And no it wasnt all ur fault !! I made my mind up
mabe it was bcos i just wanted to be alone i dont know any more! But when it ended i wanted to be mates for awhile cos i had
things goin on which made me not really wana have abf at that time... i wanted to get back with you later on but now...i dont
think that could ever happen,
do you?
well i worte that here bcos i know you look at it so..
l8rzx
10:23
listenin
to: Offspring -livin in chaos
somewhere along the line, things get chipped away
this place keeps going
down, gets alittle worse every day
i see hate and greed, this world's a messed up town embrace the pain and see by taking
it back, you turn iy around ....
hmmm had such a bad night
sleep last night...
sorry i was bitchy yday...
i dunno what to write er...
wel im still sorry matt ... and i hate
ur bearly sayin to wrds to me..
oh and i did have gd day yday... dunno if anyone else did...
went up kent yday
if ppl wonderin...
ooooh yay
i want you
all
tattooed
i want you bad
complete me
mistreat me
i want you to be bad
if you could only read my mind
you
would know that i've been waiting
so long
for someone almost like you
but with attitude, i'm waiting
so come on....
3rd June 2004
23:57
listenin 2: sounds
like violence - you give me Heartattacks
Sorry Matt...i think it'd be total waste
of time trying to explain cos u gona think im makin it up.... Every1 always does ...
Itz scares me... just i dont think
il ever find any one will understand me fully apart ... wel apart frm a shrink.. =S ...sounds stupid ppl must think itz the
old case of being a teen "no one understands me!!"
Well had my hair done today looks funky...kinda wierd tho
i now really look like ami... Dammit i need 2 ring her...
i dunno what to write ...
I've kinda fucked alot of my
friendships up... all kinds
i wonder if it'l all change when i move? If it'l get worse or beta? hmm just wana move outa
croy!
Just alil freaked out bout startin anew skool and all
thinkin about it..I think alot of ppl would have or
would be a lot beta off if they neva met me...
=S
l8rz xx
31st May 2000004
Argh i feel really mean but ARRRR!!! Why does my grandma piss me off so much,
im
off 2 see nan 2mo with jack stayin there untill thrus?
god i wanted to write alot ..but i cnt b assed mabe l8r..,,
xxxxx
27th??? May 2000004,
hmmm
Really Miss aim to day =(
Cannie
not w8 to meet up wid ya matt..lol
wel i cnt be assed to write nething to day...
l8rz xxx
12:10
hehe off skool AGAIN! lol ill... hehe
just made wheatgerm let me watch him on his dance mat =P hehe
it'z
borrred VeRy VeRy bored need sum new music but cnt download nefing!!!!! =(!!
Wanted to go movies tonite.... but.... if
i go movies i have to go skool 2mo n dont wana =D!!
Argh gota go stay at my grandmas this weekend cos itz my granddads
bday =| fun...!!! =S lol but we goin house hunting so thats good..
got someone comin to look at the house later...hehe
hope i dont scare them...i look half dead...
26/05/00004
13:34
The who - my generation
had a weird
dream last nite... jb dont freak out..
it started of wiv me n jb goin shopping...
and we started chattin to sum
guy at the till n jb wanted 2 watch him count sum change but he got all nervous then i lookd at jb n went to him i needed
to ask him sumthing "do u have msn?" lol dunno why....
once that was over..
we saw laura.(lauf) but
she got a fone call sayin we needed to go..
.so jb n me went back to mine
but i was pissed off cos i had hmwk, jb couldnt
go home as she had no keys...
the dude frm the shop was waiting outside my house.
We all hung outside 4 abit...
until i needed to get sumthing...and the dude came in my house wid me...
we looked out the window (this bit wont make
much sence to ppl who aint seen my house..)
and the weather was really bad...
jb was just standing out there... and
all of a sudden sum old guy had a knife to her thoat....and aload of wot looked like police with guns were standin around her...
the front door was open so i run into the hall frm the kitchen... al i could see was jb pushed up agaist the
see thru door with the guy cutin her thoat..her eyes full of terror...which made me slamm the fornt door... n run back into
the kitchen now in tears n saw her again but the police wonman with a gun to her head....
i ran up stairs and
found the dude frm the till siting on my sofa... i fell to the floor in tears n shock...
He looked at me and said
our plan went well then and took my hand and laid me to my room...
Strange dream
Had quite afew dreams last
nite it was odd...load of dif one bout otha ppl but cnt remember them to well
NEWAYS!!
HEY!!! =P
woah 7days
=D cant wait..kinda nervous tho =$!!
hehe
xxxxxx
25th MaY 20004444
13:51
Heya i g2g to get my brace fixed soon
Cant b asssed 2 write
nefing hehe ermmmm
think i faild my maths exam ..find out 2mo oh well hehe
dodododododo look @ random ppl
i mabe
bk l8r
hehe 8days woah!! =D
love bex xxx
24th May 2004
21:38
hey ppl!! listening to the song matt just
sent me cnt b assed 2 write d name =D!! hehe Itz funky...
Did quite alot to my site 2day... STILL havent dun ne off my
hmwk Oh well
gota go get my brace sorted 2mo =S
...
Cant think of ne thing 2 write
LOVE YA!!!!! xxx
18:21
HEY HEY!!!
listening to Monkees - I'm a Believer!!(Thanks Katie 4 sending me that =D)
i fought love was only true in fairytales.
and for someone else but not for me...
our love was out
to get me thats the way it seemed....
How am i 2day??
hmmm i is good i guess alil tierd nuffin new there,
just tryin 2 keep myself goin; so i dont keep thinkin bad things i dont wana fall back into the deep drepression blive it
or not itz not fun...
Got LOADS of late hmwk due in 2mo =S
Hope ya did good in ya
ICT gcse 2day Matt???? Bet ya did =P!!
Mite type up anotha part to anotha story later? If i
can be assed only found it today and it needs looking over so....mabye not...hehe
Put LOADSA new pics of ppl today so have
alook (Random ppl)
hmmmm i hope we sell the house soon.... had enuf of it here...
gona miss
u guys of course but i feel im kinda being pushed away by some ppl i wont say who... but hey..
Cant think of anything to
write ..
i need to go up shop so i can get credit.. ment to ring Swifty later....
23rd May 2004
18:15
hehe im k now
im talkin 2 Matt =D
06:03 AM!!
<<<<listenin 2 NIN
- Fragile>>>
ARGH! 23rd May 2004 a day il NEVA foreget
The day i well and
truly realised i hate myself?
I wont go into some reasons as ppl mabe b alil emberessed if i do..
BUT NEVA TOUCH ME
AGAIN U HEAR ME???
i dont wana go to skool this week i dont care, i
feel
like im beinng pushd down on my a huge wight! =S
i feel sick, tierd as i only had one hours sleep im confused upset freaked
out!
i dont want any1 near me 2 day,
i have loads of homework to do..... ARGH
...Matt i want to talk to u :'(
oh n sorry about the txt chris sent u last nite, and he was telling the truth i did have my head dwn the loo binng sick
but thats a fukin long story....
And swifty??i did ring him didnt go to well thru i droped the fone and was sick,
what the fuck is worng with me at the mo?? tho sez rang him alil l8r....
I have No fuckin idea what to do no more!
god i want sumthing rite
now? Nething weed...drink nething i just want 2 foreget!
xxxx
01:54am <listenin 2 DJ damien - Legend of
art >>>
richard wants me 2 ring him..
im in pain at the mo... not jokin i feel faint
n sick...
im in the mood where i culd slit my writs.......... all i want is drink =S i dont know wot to do... and i have
chris n jb downstairs i may lock myself in the bathroom in a mo or go outside 4 a fink...... i dnt no wot 2 do... i cnt cope
ne more.... why do ppl think im jokin when i say this? I come from a long line of manic drepressants... =s no1 cs ive got
it 2??
22nd May 2004
14:05
heyo again!!!! im just listening to nin
- get down make love
hehe think the people hated the house?? What the fuck is wrong wiv it?? itz neat,
big enuf!
lol 3 floors, 4 bedrooms huge living room and kitchen!!! bathroom is ok size.... got aloo dwn stairs 2?? what more do
people want damit!!!
Anyways.... at least i know swifty is ok..wel kinda.... hummm
dunno what 2 do tho...was gona copy and paste d convo on here but cleva old me close the convo n doesnt have chatlogs on this
fukin laptop!!!
argh man got a head ach...
stayin at Jbs 2 nite... as ma n pa r goin out.. i reckon we shld
crash here tho itz not like they'l no dey aint getin bk til 2mo... hehe
had a anotha weird dream last nite but i dont
realy rember wot it was about.... fink involed matt in sumway... hehe i just dont remember wot way lol! hehe oh yeh and
i love d pics Matt so ha =P
Anyways cant fink of nefing more to write....part from i wana
get pissed =(
so....
pace out.... lol xxxxxxxx
11:30
SORRY
KATIE!! I just didnt feel up2 goin out 2day!! Plus sumone is comin to look at the house at 12!!!!
Oh and sorry about yday
Chris i had blood tests ... sounds like u had fun anyway =D
hummmm i cant wait to move ....sorry ppl but i just cant
=P
hmmmmmmmmmm i cant wait till half term ethier ;) hehe
mum now wants me 2 dye my blonde...and my eye brows too? hehe
which means if i do that in half term i cnt dye it funky clours in summa?? mmm mabe just gona ave 2 stick it on d ends?
anyways
spoke to ami on d fone this morning CANT wait till she gets home ive missed her around the place ....actin like a 3yr old
!!!
got nuffin much to say 2day.... i beta go and finsh helping mum but hey il write sumthing fun l8r?
xxxx
21st May 20044444
12:28
hmmmm heyo
im just listening 2 NIN - The fragile
Got sent home frm skool 2day... my whole right arm went
numb.... still is infact and felt so sick! Ive had enuf of skool at the moe neways!!! lol
Had a strange dream last nite....
I was locked in a room....in pitch black... i culdnt
see a thing...
all i remember is hearing nosies.. and feeling things touch me allova ...at one point it kinda felt like
asomething had slit my throat... i know it sounds weird and u cant feel things in dreams but... u must of had a dream once
in ur life when it seems so real, u can feel the pain 2?? =S or is it just me?
It was also one of thoses dreams/nightmare
were u try and wake up but u just cant...i opend my eyes but i was still in the dream?
Once i did manage to wake up i still
had the feeling i was coverd in blood...I was kinda scared so much i didnt wana look to see if i was? weird eh?. kinda reminds me of the song wait and bleed - slipknot :
How the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong...
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this
Is
it a dream or a memory?
Anyways still aint
heard from swifty....hope ya ite??? and i just hope ur doing it 2 scare me and u havent done anything =S
hummm ive been
told by many people not to worry but.... wel how can i not?
hmmmm i need a hug??????????? Matt????? i wana hug lol
=P
gota go hosp later for blood tests AGAIN!!!
it'l be like my 3rd time this year...my arms still numb so im typin REALLY slow itz kinda hurtin now! lol anyways enuf of
my moaning....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
|
It's The Way That He Makes You Cry
lol Im just fed Up of ppl thinkin the same old abt me....